WASHINGTON, D.C. — Tensions from the ongoing trade war showed signs of potentially easing up, with President Donald Trump agreeing to end tariffs on China in exchange for their Kung Fu masters teaching him the "Death Touch."

Experts hailed the tentative agreement as a huge win for the Trump administration, as the Chinese have been notoriously reluctant over the centuries to divulge knowledge of the deadly move to any outsiders.

"It's the deadliest move of all time, and I'm going to know it," Trump told reporters in the Oval Office after the news broke. "Have you ever seen it? It's tremendous. I saw it in Kill Bill . And the Batman cartoon, also. You just touch a guy with your finger, and he drops dead. The Chinese know all about it. They teach it in the Kung Fu temples. If they want me

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