MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA - In a darkened room labeled "101" deep within Google's Mountain View headquarters, an outed conservative employee was forced to say there are more than two genders after a long period of torture.

The man was tortured for hours, arguing the objective reality of two genders, being told he was "mentally deranged" and suffering from "a defective worldview" before finally giving in.

"Do you remember writing in an email that there are only two genders?" he was asked while strapped to a table. "What if Google says there are three?"

"How can I help it? How can I help but see what is in front of my eyes? Two genders are two genders!" the man cried through tears as his torturer, a Google project lead, held up a picture of a man and a woman, according to surveillance footage.

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