Fawning Works... Until It Doesn't

Key points

Fawning is an instinctual response to threat, alongside fight, flight, and freeze.

Fawning is designed to defuse threatening situations with pleasing and appeasing others.

Long-term fawning leads to self-alienation, mental health problems, and unsatisfying relationships.

Fawning is an instinctive reaction to threat, alongside fight, flight, and freeze. Fawning is sometimes considered "the invisible trauma response" because it often manifests as politeness, helpfulness, or compliance. Even when we can spot it, it rarely appears problematic. We love it when people bend over backward to make us more comfortable! Unfortunately, fawning creates just as many problems as fight, flight, and freeze do. In fact, when it’s not addressed, fawning can lead to anxiety , depression ,