As the debate over school choice rages on, many parents may be suffering from information overload. Do you send your child to private school, plunging yourself into trillions of dollars of debt? Should you homeschool, guaranteeing they become weirdos? OR … do you roll the dice and send them to your assigned public school?

The Babylon Bee is here to help you make this important decision with the following list of pros and cons of public school:

Pro: Extracurricular activities

Con: THE RECORDER

Pro: Team sports

Con: Your daughter just got mauled on the soccer field by a giant dude named Stephanie

Pro: You don't have to make lunches for your kids every day

Con: The lunch they get consists mostly of cardboard and glue particles

Pro: Always have a nurse on call

Con: The nurse

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