7 min read

Most men assume that age will quiet their desire. That somewhere past 70, lust will give way to comfort. But for Benjamin, a retired behavioral researcher and Vietnam veteran, the opposite has been true. His body slowed, but his libido never did.

Benjamin, at 76, still loves his wife deeply but doesn’t sexually desire women his age.

In this edition of the Secret Lives of Men, he describes decades of marriage, swinging, and polyamory, in which he thought he understood sex, honesty, and human need. Then he fell for a woman who turned out to be a crypto scammer, and learned that desire doesn’t fade with age—it just gets more complicated.

( Names and identifying details of the subjects have been changed to protect anonymity.)

Benjamin, 76, Retired Behavioral Researcher

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