U.S. — In what dispenser experts are calling an "exciting step forward for waste and frustration," United Dispensers, LLC announced that this year's model will dispense either 50 napkins or 0 napkins with a millimeter of tearaway trash for increased irritation.

"We hope restaurants will see this as a wonderful opportunity to drive their customers to madness and despair," said Jared Lawson, Chief Exasperation & Design Officer for the nation's oldest napkin dispenser manufacturer while speaking to members of the press. "If you already charge extra for guacamole, ranch, or a ‘COVID-19 Cleaning Surcharge' even though it's 2022, this is your next step."

"Making people grab napkins one at a time didn't slow consumption like we had hoped it would – bold customers would just take off the lid and

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