ROME — Following the death of Pope Francis this week, official sources at the Vatican have confirmed that the next pope will be chosen by ninja warrior obstacle course.

According to Cardinal Kevin Farrell, the camerlengo of the Roman Church, Pope Francis' successor will be elected by the College of Cardinals based on the orthodoxy of his doctrine, his commitment to Catholic tradition, and also his ability to complete a ninja warrior obstacle course faster than the competition.

"It's important that the pope be prepared to lead the flock of Christ as the Successor of Peter," Farrell said. "Which is why the next pope of the Roman Catholic Church will have to beat out his closest competitors on the Warped Wall, the Spinning Log, and the Floating Stairs if he wants to take over the Holy See."

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