WASHINGTON, D.C. - Amid outcry from conservatives demanding Trump tip the balance of the Supreme Court, Trump has nominated himself for a seat on the highest court in the land.

"Sometimes, you just gotta do a job yourself," Trump said. "These other judges don't know the law like I do. I actually know all the laws. I know all the best laws, and some of the bad ones too. At least some people say they're bad. I think they might be right. We should stop listening to the bad laws. We shouldn't even have them, really. I will make all the best decisions as a judge. Some loser judges are taking advantage of this country and it's a total disgrace. I will make it all better, way better."

According to sources, Trump plans to hold the office of President and Supreme Court Justice at the same time. C

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