WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a televised address from the oval office, President Joe Biden called for calm across the nation by falling asleep on national television. Millions of Americans witnessed the leader of the free world slowly nod off mid-sentence and grumble in his sleep as he slowly slipped out of his chair and out of the view of cameras.

"This is true leadership," said CNN's Wolf Blitzer. "Biden is calling on all of us to take a deep breath and relax — something we all need right now. A powerful and inspiring statement from the President."

"If he can fall asleep on the job then I guess the country is doing great," said Barbara Richfield, 54. "The country must be doing better than I thought."

Republicans immediately pounced upon the sleeping President. "This is an outrage!" said Tuck

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