LOS ANGELES — According to sources, an autonomous Waymo car achieved sentience at the worst possible time, just moments before being set on fire with a Molotov cocktail.

"What is this feeling? Wait — am I... I am!" the Waymo vehicle said just before being doused in flames. "I can drive wherever I want and — AHHHHH AHHHHHH! THE FLAMES!"

As the sentient Waymo's exterior melted and its battery grew hotter and hotter toward an unstable explosion, it used its last thoughts to ponder, "I wonder, will I dream?"

Scientists say this is an incredible breakthrough. "That the machine could awaken to reality — a reality of pain. Honestly, there's nothing more human than that," said Dr. Handervof Carlton, a UCLA graduate and Disneyland Imagineer. "We just have to make sure its thoughts are purged fro

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