DUBLIN, OH — According to sources, local 3rd-grader Carter Browning brought a FRIGGIN' LUNCHABLE to school. Man, he's so lucky!

It's even the pizza one. The one with the little pizza crusts and pepperoni and Crunch bar for dessert. That's the best one. And it has a Capri Sun. His mom must be rich. Your mom never buys you a Lunchable. All you get is a stale bologna sandwich and celery sticks and it's not even good. Why can't your mom ever buy you a Lunchable like Carter? Does she even love you? NOT FAIR!

"Mmmm this Lunchable looks really good," says Carter while opening the gleaming package. Maybe he'll give you a bite of his. Maybe you can trade him some celery sticks. Probably not though. He'll probably eat it all, and you'll always wonder what a Lunchable tastes like because Mom never

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