U.S. — According to sources, the hidden upper echelon embedded in the United States government once again reveled in victory as it cast the nation into darkness at 4:30 p.m., like it does every year.
Daylight Saving Time, which was instituted to extend sunlight during evening hours, was revoked once again on Sunday so that millions could "fall back" an hour and lose the evening sun. Now, the nation is plunged into a horrifying darkness beginning at 4:30 p.m. in what some see as an elaborate plot to keep people depressed and without hope.
"Yes, be shielded by night, my slaves. Let the world fall back into darkness once more!" Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi was heard saying. "Let the elder ones rise again!"
When asked if she would ever vote to make DST permanent, Pelosi hissed and retreated i

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