RAMAH — A large crowd of disgruntled people from multiple tribes marched publicly through the streets today, as mobs of angry Israelites protested the prophet Samuel with a "Yes Kings" rally.

Fed up with having autonomy and personal freedoms as long as they adhered to God's law, the descendants of Abraham angrily made their voices heard before the Lord's chosen representative to demand one all-powerful man to despotically rule over them.

"We don't want to live in freedom!" said one marching Benjamite. "We keep looking at all the other nations around us and the way they have a person bossing them around and living in opulent luxury while everyone else toils endlessly to funnel wealth to the royal family, and we wish that could be us. We don't want liberty, give us oppression!"

After bein

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