Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

My wife “Misty” and I have a 12-year-old son, “Zachary,” and a 6-year-old daughter, “Aria.” Recently we were visiting my brother and his family when my teenage nephew caught Zachary trying to sneak a wine cooler from the fridge. He had just opened it when my nephew walked into the kitchen. My nephew took it away from my son and brought him back to the backyard patio where the rest of us were and made him fess up to what he did.

I was proud of my nephew for being responsible, but Misty tore into my brother and sister-in-law for supposedly “having alcohol where a child could find it.” She cut the visit short and is now saying she doesn’t want to allo

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