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Anson Cameron Spectrum columnist, The Age November 6, 2025 — 2.20pm

If I were on Jupiter right now, in its fierce gravity, I would be turtling around on all fours weighing more than 200 kilograms. Pressed into the sofa like an anvil, I doubt I could get to the fridge for a beer. If I were on Mercury, I would be 30 kilograms, running marathons, leaping over pyramids, hillocks and Great Walls. (But what Mercurian would build a Great Wall when his enemies could leap it like fleas?)

If I were on Pluto, I would weigh 5 kilograms and could do a thousand one-armed push-ups in its insipid gravity – three light steps would take me to visit a distant friend – or launch me into space. But on Earth, with its mass being a happy 5.97 billion t

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