LINCOLN, NE — According to multiple witnesses, hilarious comedienne Chelsea Handler burst into a family's living room to tell them she was totally happy being child-free and not at all miserable or anything.
The Sorenson family paused game night until she was finished yelling about how happy she was.
"Do you have a champagne room? I do, I bet you've never even tried champagne, you unhappy louts," slurred the comic most well-known for her talk show in which she said things passive-aggressively for an hour. "I'm free to indulge in my own pleasures all I want until a new therapist tells me to maybe back off a little!"
"Therapist hopping, now that's a lasting joy you lot will never understand," She continued.
Handler then motioned around at the family's house and loudly scoffed at the fami

The Babylon Bee
Cover Media
The Daily Beast
6abc Action News Entertainment
The Fashion Spot
RadarOnline
AlterNet
Bozeman Daily Chronicle Sports