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My day started before sunrise, drinking my out-of-season iced coffee from a plain old glass.

The clock hit 5 a.m. and I started dialing up my local Starbucks, one after the other, trying to get my hands on one of the viral Bearista glasses . Spoiler alert: That old chestnut about early birds catching worms is a lie.

Over the course of this hyper-obsessive manic episode, I called five locations in my Brooklyn neighborhood, two in New Jersey, and three in Florida — none of them even received a single bear to sell.

The sun had bearly (see what I did there?) risen, but the day was already over for me. As my frustration subsided, it dawned

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