Primary Cause Of Global Warming Found To Be Massive Dumpster Fire Burning At 1600 Pennsylvania Ave Washington DC

WASHINGTON, DC — The world's top climate change scientists were shocked by the recent discovery that the leading cause of global warming is actually an enormous, ongoing dumpster fire located at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

"For decades, we just assumed that methane-producing animals, deforestation, and the burning of fossil fuels were combining to cause the warming of our planet," said Dr. Curt Schampers, Chief Climate Scientist at the Greta Thunberg Institute in Stockholm. "Surprisingly, the greatest cause of global temperature increase in the world is really the raging inferno in a dumpster at the White House. A ‘dumpster fire,' as they say."

The situation has only grown more urgent over the last two years as the Biden administration has been hard at work burning the country to the ground.