Psychological researchers consistently find that love alone is not enough to sustain couples through the ups and downs of marriage . Your skills and expectations matter just as much, if not more, than whether or not you actually love your partner.

Yet, when marriages fail, partners are still inclined to cite “falling out of love” or “incompatibility” as reasons. But nine times out of 10, the problem can’t necessarily be linked back to a single wrong choice, nor a single night where things all went wrong. Usually, partners don’t enter their marriage knowing how to be married .

That’s why there are certain “ marriage lessons ” every couple has to learn before committing—think of them as foundational understandings. They won’t make your relationship perfect, but they will help you ha

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