GAZA — After months of intense negotiation with the Biden administration, Hamas has at last agreed to release zero hostages in exchange for wiping every Jew off the face of the planet.

President Biden hailed the agreement as a massive breakthrough, with Hamas having rejected previous offers to exterminate only some of the Jews. "First we asked for a few American hostages in exchange for freeing into Gaza a thousand terrorists hellbent on killing Jews," explained lead negotiator Tom Rogers. "Boy, did we feel silly when Hamas explained it had already murdered the hostages. It was so embarrassing! So, we offered to free the terrorists anyways and send Hamas $10 million for the trouble, but they said no. Tough negotiators, those terrorists. Anyhow, finally we settled on wiping the Jewish peop

See Full Page