DEAR ABBY : My brother has ALS and lives in another state. He has a wife and children. His wife has decided that when family visits from out of state, they need to stay in a hotel instead of their house because she does not have the capacity to host.

I understand that it is stressful to have guests while also being a caregiver for someone with a terminal illness. However, when I come to visit, it is to spend time with my brother and help him with eating, bathing, getting dressed, etc. That typically happens in the mornings and at night, when visitors are expected to be at a hotel. Out-of-state visitors could also help with cooking, cleaning and anything else that needs to be done. We don’t expect to be catered to. Paying for airfare and a hotel each time I visit is a financial hurdle. ×

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