Key points

A family tradition is an anchoring collective event to which everyone “signs on” and participates.

Traditions braid together purpose, respect and enduring family values.

It takes active conversation and patience to settle on traditions that both parents can enjoy and value.

Sam seemed startled when his granddad proudly showed him the new edition of “The Night Before Christmas” he’d just bought at the bookstore. Sensing his grandson’s confusion, he explained, “I couldn’t find the old one after Gramma and I moved, and I wanted to show you we’re all set for Christmas Eve.”

Sam blurted out, “It’s the wrong book!” and ran off to his room. Does it really matter, his granddad wondered. Apparently. When Sam’s mom went to check on him, he tearfully explained, “That was my every-Chri

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