HOLLYWOOD, CA

After unprecedented demand brought on by the direct-to-betamax success of , the Mennonite thriller is now playing at theatres across the globe.

“The movie’s been a great success. People are lining up around the block,” said Anabaptist cinephile Jake Kroeker. “They’re all sneaking in their own popcorn, but still…”

stars Samuel L. Jackson as an airline passenger who discovers his commercial flight from Asuncion to Cuahtemoc is full of Jakes.

“I’m sick and tired of these cousin-marrying Jakes on this cousin-marrying plane!” yelled Jackson in the climax of the film. “Plus, most of these Jakes are not even wearing their masks correctly!”

Jakes start to pop up all over the plane – in the washroom, in the overhead compartment, even in the cockpit.

“ ?” said a Jake who popped u

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