DALLAS, TX — Local parents Kevin and Cyndi Thompson continue to idiotically resist the overpowering, siren call of the minivan.

"We will never, ever drive a minivan. I'm not that kind of mom!" said Mrs. Thompson as she and her husband shopped for a new family car. "I don't care about the space, the convenience, the - wait a minute, the doors even close on their own? Are you serious??"

Though parenting comes replete with humbling experiences, Mrs. Thompson has long been adamant that she would never suffer the indignity of driving a minivan. "I've been hurled on, pooped on, you name it," said Mrs. Thompson. "Children have an incredible talent for removing every last vestige of pride that you have. But I refuse to lower myself to the minivan, no matter how much sense it makes. Why does it m

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