CAPE CANAVERAL, FL

Pioneering SpaceX and Tesla founder Elon Musk launched a Mennonite buggy, complete with five grumpy members of the local church elder board, into outer space on Friday. The historic launch is the first of many, with the eventual goal of establishing a peaceful Mennonite community on Mars.

“If you check our website, we’ve got a livestream of the elders orbiting the earth as we speak,” said Musk. “By next week Tuesday they will have travelled well over 4 million miles, which is officially the third longest journey in Mennonite history after the Great Trek and Claas Epp Jr.’s misguided sojourn into Central Asia.”

The elders were nominated by their home churches for the project, and each one was supplied with freeze dried packets of schmaunt fat and plumi moos to keep the

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