MISS MANNERS by Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My sister-in-law’s father died three weeks ago after a long illness, and I’ve been invited to a celebration of life at my brother and sister-in-law’s house. It starts at 7 p.m. on a weekday. She texted a detailed itinerary that includes a potluck dinner until 9, followed by eulogies and speeches. They’re doing this themselves instead of having a traditional funeral.

Usually, aren’t speeches or services held before a meal, so everyone isn’t forced to stay for hours? I work early the next morning; is there any way I can respectfully leave early?

GENTLE READER: Leaving early will require you to excuse yourself, which means a conversation with either your brother or your sister-in-law. While this co

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