ALTONA, MB

Area woman Aganetha Barkman rushed home from the quilting bee this afternoon after hearing on the radio that stocks were crashing.

“Not on my watch!” proclaimed Barkman, hopping into her CRV. “I remember when Mrs. Neufeld’s stock went bad and Mrs. Loewen is notorious for an underwhelming stock, but a Barkman stock always turns out just dandy.”

When she arrived at home, she found her stock simmering away in the crockpot without a care in the world.

“I added a few more bones and stirred it a bit,” said Mrs. Barkman. “But otherwise it seemed totally unaffected by the crash.”

Mrs. Barkman says the key to keeping your stock from tumbling is to not overfill the pot.

“And lift with your knees,” said Mrs. Barkman. “I don’t know how they do it on Wall Street … but then it doesn’t s

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