We're real journalists at The Bee, which means we have anonymous sources at the White House. Our anonymous source -- let's just call him Bob -- managed to acquire Biden's 9-point plan for saving face and righting the ship in Afghanistan. Here it is! Thanks, Bob!

1. Sign an executive order on climate change. - Biden will reportedly announce this at his press conference this evening. Only through fighting climate change can we stop terrorism.

2. Take a nap and hope some ideas come to him. - Sometimes all you need for inspiration to strike is a little bit of shut-eye.

3. Knock on wood even harder. - Biden says the problem with his previous plan to knock on wood is that he didn't knock hard enough. Second time is the charm!

4. Team up with Ben & Jerry's for a new ice cream flavor "Af

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