WASHINGTON, D.C. - Well, it looks like this has been a successful day for everybody: after hours upon hours of testimony, questioning, and monologues by presidential hopefuls, every single person in the country still believes exactly what he or she already believed about Brett Kavanaugh going into the hearings.

From US senators to voters across the nation, everybody tuned into the hearings in order to reinforce their viewpoints and not be swayed by a single piece of evidence going in the opposite direction.

"We accomplished exactly what we wanted to here," Senator Dianne Feinstein said in an interview after the hearings had concluded. "Everybody is more divided than before, and levels of hatred are at an all-time high. Not a single person's mind was changed, and that's the way politics s

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