Key points

Old environments and family roles can reactivate past personality patterns.

Personality traits exist on a continuum and change naturally across adulthood.

Holiday stress makes it easier to slip into familiar roles, but the progress you’ve made remains real.

When I was a teenager , I’d almost always end up in tears during holiday gatherings with my extended family. Someone would make a comment that hit a little too close to home, and when I tried to stand up for myself, they’d insist that I couldn’t take a joke or was “too sensitive.”

After I graduated college and moved away for graduate school, I thought I had grown into a confident, competent professional. Yet, when I’d go home for the holidays I’d fall right back into those old dynamics. It felt like my inner 14-year-ol

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