LA CRETE, AB

Thousands of Mennonites across North America were totally freaking out at the prospect of having to quarantine themselves for a couple weeks should they be in the unfortunate situation of having not adequately washed their hands. The panic is so strong that local store shelves have been completely emptied of essentials such as hand sanitizer, toilet paper, and .

“Oba, gotta make sure I don’t run out of ,” said Mrs. Stobbe with a shopping cart full of farmer sausage. “Who knows how long I’ll be locked up in my house and I’ve gotta make sure I can survive!”

While some stores have a little bit of hand sanitzer and toilet paper left in stock, local butchers are really struggling to keep up with the demand for farmer sausage.

“We’ve been stuffing and smoking 24/7,” said local b

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