PASADENA, CA - In a move to codify and standardize methods and tactics used when engaging opposing viewpoints both online and in person, liberal theologians gathered at Fuller Theological Seminary over the weekend to approve and publish a brand-new guide for arguing with people who disagree with liberal theology.

"We've seen thousands of liberals wasting their time by arguing around and around with conservative theologians, honestly engaging their viewpoints, when they could have just followed our guide and shut the argument down right at the start," Dr. Xander Willis said at the meeting before the liberal theologians gathered voted unanimously to approve the guide. "You can win any theological argument in seconds by following these simple steps."

The guide is reproduced in part below:

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