Key points

Examine your motivation to use communication tools, so they become bridges to connection, not obstacles.

Get buy-in from a partner before using such techniques, so you’re practicing with them rather than on them.

Communication tools are really put to the test when emotions are running hot. Cool down before using them.

Sometimes the best tactic is to stop using communication tools, stop talking, and just sit quietly together.

At a weeklong retreat I once attended on “Non-Violent Communication”—a modality devoted to compassionate connection and conflict-resolution—the lead facilitator opened with this question: “How many of you have had NVC used against you?”

A majority of the participants raised their hands, including me.

What the facilitator was getting at is that any com

See Full Page