A COUNTRY which has not managed to penetrate most of its closest neighbour in more than three years is ready to take the rest of the continent on, it has claimed.

After rejecting a deal in peace talks, Russia has ignored its marginal gains at the cost of one million men dead or injured and its whole economy and decided to rattle its sabre at an entire continent.

A Nato spokesperson said: “Ooh, I’m so scared. If they continue advancing at their current rate, they’ll be in Romania by 2085.

“Putin’s acting all big and tough because he’s almost claimed half a region teeming with pro-Russian militants. If he can barely do that then taking the fight westwards will be hilarious. To use a military term, he’ll look a right f**king mug.

“Russia’s already had to beg help from North Korea. China’s

See Full Page