Dear Eric: I have several adult grandchildren we seldom see as they live in different states from us, and my husband has disabilities that prevent us from traveling. We send them gifts for birthdays and Christmas, but they never thank us or even acknowledge that they received a gift.
I’ve started sending checks, so at least I can see if the check was cashed. I seriously want to stop sending gifts because of this, and also since we’re retired money is very tight. What do you think I should be doing? I enjoy reading your column.
– Unthanked
Dear Unthanked: If you want to stop sending gifts, do so. We don’t give to receive thanks, of course, we give because it’s an expression of what we feel. But if that expression is one-sided or the feeling changes, it’s fine to adjust the arrangement.

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