The Orange Menace's newly released "national security strategy" is a fever dream scribbled in Sharpie over a Risk board. In it, the convicted felon nee president's team rewrites global alliances, threatens South America with murderous boat strikes, and warns Europe that its real problem isn't war or inflation, it is their lack of manly vibes.

The document released Friday by the White House is sure to roil long-standing U.S. allies in Europe for its scathing critiques of their migration and free speech policies, suggesting they face the "prospect of civilizational erasure" and raising doubts about their long-term reliability as American partners.

At the same time the administration is sharply critical of its democratic allies in Europe and carrying out a pressure campaign of boat strikes

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