How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here. It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

My husband and I had a baby nine months ago. Before we had our son, he used to love going down on me, and I loved it. Since I was cleared to go back to sex, however, he refuses.

We still have sex, but this was something I really was looking forward to getting back to. It’s been months now, and he still won’t do it. When I asked why, he said he couldn’t get over the fact that our son came from there. What can I do to convince him he’s being irrational?

—No More Eating Out

Dear No More,

My first thought, upon reading your letter, was a curious: What are the differences for your husband between penetrating your vagina with his penis and performin

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