Helloooooooo Trash Pandas! Welcome back to the Trash Report. I'm your girl Elinor Jones, fresh off a weeks-long mental health break "sabbatical." This summer has been fun, but it's been busy and I was fresh out of jokes to make and fucks to give, so I needed to rest. I've also been oddly tuned out of the news, because it's just so very bad... but if pigs can cool themselves down by rolling around in slop, then so can we. Let's discuss some things that have been going on!

President Donald Trump has been pretty effectively making people stop talking about his murdered best friend, Jeffrey Epstein, by unleashing the National Guard on regular-ass American cities. Republicans who support the effort are saying D.C. is simply too dangerous (it's not), and like, aren't these the same motherfucker

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