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Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are engaged , and no one is having a normal one about it. There were Reddit meltdowns from the pining female fans long hoping that Swift was secretly gay. There were the conspiracy theories from social media influencers convinced that the Swift-Kelce relationship is a PR stunt and their marriage a mutual cash-grab. And there were, like clockwork, the reactionary conservatives, who seem to have a collective parasocial relationship with Swift—they once held her up as the ideal woman (being white with blond hair and blue eyes was pretty much all it took) and now they dissolve into near-homicidal histrionics when she does something they

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