Pay Dirt is Slate’s money advice column. Have a question? Send it to Kristin and Ilyce here . (It’s anonymous!)

Dear Pay Dirt,

My partner’s sister is expecting her third child in December, it was quite a surprise, she found out at 20 weeks. I’m happy for her and excited about the baby, but concerned about the financial side. She and her husband haven’t worked in nearly a decade.

They’re barely getting by on government support, and my partner has loaned her money over the years. She currently owes him over $1,000—though she pays small amounts back, she borrows more than she repays. I don’t mind him helping with his own money, but we recently bought a home, live in a high-cost area, and are planning our wedding. With a new baby, I fear she’ll ask to borrow more than we can ma

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