STEINBACH, MB

Skeptical of his Mennonite credentials, a half dozen conspiracy nuts from just outside Steinbach are demanding to see the baptism certificate of Daily Bonnet author Andrew Unger .

“We want to see his long-form baptism certificate to make sure he wasn’t baptized as a baby!” screamed protestor Stephen Schmidt. “He seems far too irreverent to be a real Mennonite.”

According to an obscure Steinbach law, Mennnonite satirists must be born in Mennonite country and baptized within weeks of their high school graduation. If they are not, they are deemed ineligible to . The punishment for violation of the law is three months picking weeds in Mrs. Klassen’s backyard.

“He better not have been sprinkled at the St. Boniface Hospital,” screamed Schmidt. “That place churns out nothing b

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