WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the first major gaffe of her campaign, a heavily inebriated Kamala Harris accidentally chose the wrong Jewish guy named "Shapiro" as her Vice Presidential running mate.

"Come on up here Ben! Haha you and your adorable yarmulka hahaha," laughed Harris at the press conference. "I thought you wore glasses? Whatever. Woo, Pennsylvania is ours!"

According to sources, Harris was quite defensive when campaign aides pointed out her slight error. "Geez, lay off," said Harris, holding herself up with a parking meter. "He's white, Jewish, and named 'Shapiro.' I was pretty dang close. How different can they really be?"

Though initially caught off guard by the announcement, Ben Shapiro sent shockwaves through the political landscape by accepting the nomination. "Am I going to n

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