How was National Standing on Doorsteps Week for you? For most, it’s a case of grabbing a picture two or even three days after la rentrée , when you remember that you’ve missed the annual obligation to record the progress of what Mumsnetters call the ‘DCs’ (darling children).

Assemble them by the front door, roar at the one who’s kicking off to SMILE and look at ME, lament that you failed to get your sons’ hair cut before they went back as overnight they’ve come to resemble Hamburg-era Beatles, press the button and then bundle them into the car.

Later, you ping the picture around the family WhatsApp group and stick it on social media, perhaps recalling, with a maniacal laugh – as you finally open your laptop to start work – those vague intentions to be up, showered and have done 20 minu

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