French Bulldogs don’t need words to communicate, but if they suddenly learned how to text, your phone would never stop buzzing. Their personalities are equal parts clown, diva, and snuggle machine, so every message would feel like a mix of comedy and complaint. Here’s what your Frenchie would probably be sending you right now.

1. “Hey. Just so you know, I almost starved to death… 15 minutes ago.”

Breakfast was ages ago, and by “ages” your Frenchie means half an hour. The dramatic pause between bites is forgotten, and now you’re dealing with hunger theatrics worthy of an Oscar. Expect emojis of skulls, empty bowls, and maybe a single hotdog.

2. “Explain why the cat gets to sit there and I don’t.”

Your Frenchie has a doctorate in side eye. If the cat is lounging on the windowsill, your d

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