DENVER — Local flight attendant and longtime punk Jules Green held out the mic to a front row passenger during pre-flight announcements for United Airlines flight 362 out of Denver International Airport, confirmed sources.

“At first I didn’t think they were feeling it, but I dug deep, wrapped the cord around my fist, and won the room over eventually with crowd participation. You know, like handing the mic over to them and asking for any requests for pre-flight instructions,” said Green, dodging a stink eye from the captain. “Afterwards, they all cheered and a bunch of folks stopped me to say they enjoyed my set! I told them I’d be in the back the rest of the flight smoking cigarettes if they wanted to chat or grab a CD later. This must be what GG Allin felt like when he took a dump on sta

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