DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am of Asian descent and have lived in the U.S. for about two-thirds of my life. My pet peeve is when people ask me where I am from. I politely reply with the name of my home state (in the U.S.).

Yes, I still have an accent.

My kids were born in the U.S. and have grown up here; they have no accents and no ties to Asia. And yet, they get the same question. I’m not sure if first-generation immigrants who are white get this question.

GENTLE READER: Do you remember when this question was not considered an insult?

Because Americans often changed locations, moving around the country, it was once considered a benign conversation opener. Questioners might go on to say they had relatives there, or had vacationed there, or had never been, but hoped to go someday.

Miss Manner

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