WASHINGTON, D.C. — As news dropped that former President Donald Trump was facing a third federal indictment, Democrats were quick to explain that no American citizen is above the law they only selectively enforce.

"Absolutely no one is exempt, unless we say so," said Attorney General Merrick Garland. "Even the President is subject to the law, except in cases where I decide he can totally do whatever he wants without any consequences whatsoever."

Public outcry has continued over indictments of Trump, with many people pointing out that Trump always seems to be indicted right after another Biden family corruption bombshell drops. "Funny how that happens, isn't it?" said Mr. Garland. "Total coincidence. The fact of the matter is that Mr. Trump is not above the law. As for President Biden and

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