PEORIA, IL — Members of Cornerstone Calvary Community Congregation City Church were in for a shock this past Sunday as they were greeted at the doors to the church by an army of state-of-the-art robo-greeters.

The drastic transformation in greeters comes at a time churches across the nation have seen a dramatic drop in volunteers.

" Greetings, worshipping human lifeforms, " buzzed the robo-greeters to nervous congregants who suddenly found themselves missing the awkward human greeters from last week. " We hope you find joy in your Creator through the use of audio amplification and elongated speeches from humans with perfectly-controlled hair follicles. "

The increase in crying babies did not deter the mechanical greeters from seeing that all soft-bodied mammals received a 98.6º welc

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