Q. I worry frequently about what people think of me at work. I don’t say things or try things because I don’t want to look bad. My concern about the opinions of others is making my job harder. Is there advice you give clients on how to deal with their anxiety about what people think?

A. Yes, I tell my clients that what people think of you is none of your business. Allison Dubois, a medium and author, often says that what the dead tell her is that “if someone is not going to be at your funeral, what they think of you is unimportant.” I think this is good advice for the living.

The reality is that the older you get, you understand that mostly no one is thinking about you at all. Most people are thinking about themselves too much to give you a second thought. You may be initially offended

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