SAINT PAUL, MN — The community expressed disdain after one local loser was found to still have one of those cars that starts with a key.

According to friends and family, Matthew Newman still drives a 2004 Honda Accord that requires a physical key to start it.

"He pulled this weird metal object out of his pocket before he got into his car," recalled Phillip Butler, who was a friend of Newman's before the incident. "My first thought was, 'Dude, it's not the 1970s anymore. We have real cars now.' I wondered what the next thing he was going to tell me — he drives a stick? That's when I decided to cut ties with him."

Newman protested that it was all okay. "Cars are just meant to get you from point A to point B," he said. "Who cares if you have some fancy, high-tech keyless feature?"

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